Hello, I hope everyone is doing well. As promised, I’m sharing what has happened with my application for internships next year…
I got my first preference! I will be at a large metro hospital that is renowned for its trauma and lung transplant services. It also has a radiology rotation for interns, which is a field I am currently interested in. An additional advantage is that it is slightly (10 minutes) closer to my home than the hospital I am currently situated at. Needless to say, I am very happy with this result and it certainly feels like the culmination of 4 years of study has paid off. It is a notoriously difficult hospital for Melbourne University students to get into, as it is extremely popular and affiliated with another university. Therefore, competition is high and usually, only a handful from other universities manage to snatch a spot. Last year only 4-5 students from my university managed to sneak into the pool of 60 interns, and this year there is 7 of us. So I am feeling incredibly lucky, especially as I was hedging my bets on my second preference (as it is my own clinical school and I have strong roots there).
But with this excitement also comes a hint of sadness. I’ve spent the past 3 years of my medical degree at the same hospital and have grown to love and cherish my time here. Many of my friends and acquaintances have chosen to come back next year and I feel a pang of regret to be leaving them and throwing myself into a new environment. I am going to miss my friends and can’t help feeling slightly jealous that they will be able to learn and grow together. Of course, I made the decision to preference another hospital knowing full well this could be the result, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy for me to walk away. My research supervisor, whom I am close to, is also a senior academic clinician at this hospital, and I was worried she would take offence at me not choosing to come back. But we’ve spoken and she’s been immensely supportive, and we’ve promised to remain in touch and maybe even work together again in the future.
I am also simply the type of person to always think “what if?” What if I have a bad time? What if everyone else at this new place is crazy smart and I’ll expose myself as an imposter? I will have to learn an entirely new hospital system, layout and protocols. It took me 3 years to learn how my current hospital works, and I still have no clue where certain things are! I am sure this isn’t a surprise to anyone, as I can be quite the pessimist and sometimes err on the edge of paranoia. But I promise these thoughts are fleeting and related to nerves that come with starting something new and being in an unfamiliar environment. I know that at the end of the day, even though it’ll be scary, I will survive. And thrive (hopefully). Mistakes will be made and bad days will come, but that should never stop me from achieving my goals.
Besides, this will be a good opportunity for me to get outside my comfort zone and do some real soul searching. It is never a bad idea to see how other organisations do things and to broaden one’s horizons. I may also get the chance to further explore radiology, which is a field of medicine I have some interest in. The only problem is trying to convince my parents that choosing a career where there is inevitable radiation exposure is not “fatal.” Especially since it will likely head down the interventional route in years to come. Whilst it is obviously a safe career (as there are plenty of people within the field alive and kicking), the mere thought of having a potentially higher risk than the general public is terrifying to the two people in my life who have done everything in their power to protect me from every conceivable harm. My parents come from humble backgrounds and have no medical knowledge, and thus thinking about me constantly being associated with “radiation” is not very appealing. Additionally, they’re concerned that sitting in a dark room looking at computer screens all day will be boring and not “glamorous” enough. Of course, I understand where they are coming from and I know they have my best interests at heart. These are all things I have thought about myself, and at this stage I have to say I haven’t made a decision yet. I am in no rush to commit myself to something I have no concrete experience in and thus I am going to leave it for when I have worked for a while and have developed my skills and interests.
Anyways, this was all I wanted to share today. I am currently having a two week break from clinical placement and enjoying my time off. I am also glad to be out of the hospital for a little while, as things were starting to get a little hairy there. Thank god I am a lazy person who quite enjoys staying at home with nothing to do, as this may be our way of life for a while. Stay safe everyone!